Just other thoughts

Another morning, when I felt like my heart doesn`t fit in the landscape from the window...

" Monday, 17 January

You know how it feels to be pushed away, just because you wanted with all heart, to be close to what you love?
Being pushed away, only for pain, you feel with the one you love, such as yours? To be pushed away just for that.
To be pushed away, just because you tried to delete her tears.
If you knew, or even trying to imagine ... how is to hear from the person you love, as she doesn`t need you right now.
Is more pain than you can imagine ... to be pushed away, by who you need the most.
No, you don`t know how overwhelming it is silence and solitude... I know and I don`t want to know too.
Maybe, just because you have not yet managed to really taste it, and always you been suffocated by the people around you. Always looking for a moment of refuge. Just because I always gave you love, may more than you want...
You don`t know how it is, when silence fills your soul with fear, pushing him to despair. In silence you can feel more than ever, fear that haunts the depths of your soul.
I know, I promised... And I didn`t forget any promises made.
Here I am. I fight. And I`ll continue fighting against the pain and selfishness that wishes happiness to themselves, that my love for you can overcome any obstacle.
To can forget the suffering, or pretend that she doesn`t see the knife that hurts her. To accept you as you are, with every mistake you`ll ever make.
I`m here. I`ve always been, and i will be. I`m here waiting for you to see me; and wondering myself if you want my presence ?!
And I`ll be here waiting for you to need me. To catch me by the hand, and telling me that you never let me go again...
I`m here for you. To keep me close, not to push me away.

Ily. "